How Bipolar Feels (to me)

I wrote this in 2006 but the description still fits. Love you guys for still loving and accepting me.

Slipping Again

I had gained my ground and dug in my heels.
Busting out of my comfort zone, while still remaining stable.

Using smiles and laughs as my tools… and feeling really good.
It’s all just a frame of mind, don’t you know?

For two days I’ve been happy; so you see it’s true.
All these years I’ve been miserable for nothing!

Positive thoughts, reaching out and communication…
Just like everyone has said all along.

What about now? What’s that feeling?
Holy Crap! It was so easy yesterday!

Hold on! Wait…You can do this!

Positive thoughts! I am stronger than this.
Pulling harder, I feel the affects.

My eyes are burning; throat is blocked
Mind is spinning; Make it stop!

Reach out!
I don’t want to do this again. Please stop!

I’m so tired and I know that if I rest, I’m in more danger.
I’m moving slow but still moving.

The weight becomes more and more;
And it pulls me down so that I’m hunched over as I walk.

A moment of clarity comes and I scream “Help!”

Communication: I need you.

“Please don’t wait until I’ve fallen or have only one foot on the floor.
I need you when I’m happy, but I need you more when I’m sad.I am trying and I hate being like this. I feel like a burden. Walk with me and hold my hand, only then will you know when I begin to slip”